Obviously, now that I’ve made this crazy commitment to actually wear a bikini in public, I’ve upped my workout schedule to include more than one day a week.I could go on for literally ever about my pet peeves at the gym, today I’m going to talk about why I don’t like to be approached at the gym, and how I will nevah, evah wear make up and have my hair all did at the gym.
I go to a little ole regular YMCA and most of the time, it’s regular ole people (read: moms who have approx. half an hour to try and blast some booty. Some days however (like, you know, today) there are lots of random people, and lots of conversations going on all around. I hate this. I not only plug into my iPod, but also am usually reading a magazine/book, watching whatever is on the TV, being a general antisocial somebody.
A side note: away from the gym I love people, embrace them and their stories and blah, blah, blah.
But, for some reason, while I’m working out, I don’t want to interact. This means, I don’t want to figure out where you might know me from, I don’t want to have dinner, or tell you where I bought a particular piece of clothing, or tell you what I’m listening to, or any other rigamarole. I just don’t.
However, today, at said , not just one, but FIVE (!) people tried to chat me up.
FIVE! What fresh hell is this? I feigned politeness every single time, the first two times, but then I just about slapped a sweet older woman who was just asking if I knew what time it was. Um, hey how bout try that clock behind you?
I finally gave it up and ran around the track, try and catch me now beeyotches!
Now, while I’m moaning on about shit at the gym that bothers me, I cannot stand the girl (and you know who you are) who comes into the gym with more spandex than the entire cast of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, and your hair DOWN (geez!) and curled (!) What????? and an entire broadway worthy face full of make up, who are you fooling? Did someone tell you that there would be casting at the gym, or are you under the impression that your face will not slide off if you exert any sort of energy? but of course not, these are the same girls that will walk for two laps and then check their phone for ten minutes, then lift two pound weights three whole reps on each side. (Listen, twiglett, am pretty sure you don’t need to workout that grain of rice you had for breakfast anyway and if you want to meet a beefcake? move to Jersey Shore and add some blue eye shadow to your ensemble..mkay?)
Ok, seriously, I do love a good workout, I just happen to be quite surly at the gym, though I maintain that in real life I’m pretty mild-mannered.
Just don’t approach me when I’m rocking to the purple iPod.